he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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