she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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