finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
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Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
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I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101