Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!