Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
