If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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