ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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