Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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