i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
