I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
