I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
