just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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