Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
