So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She's the barista slut.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
