Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize