why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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