Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
