it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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