the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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