get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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