Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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