i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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