i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
