summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it