i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.