okay pat passed out under dana's car
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?