We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"