I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?