Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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