So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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