mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
