Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
