hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
