It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
