What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
