He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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