Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize