Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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