I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
