You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
