my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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