nut hugger
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
