Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
