Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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