At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
