I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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