I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
