i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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