I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
