I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize