i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
