bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize