Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
