Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
