if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize