toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
