Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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