She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
