He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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