I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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