i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
