can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
