i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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