You're my little dorito
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
