Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
