dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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