There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
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This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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